Been busy as all gitout so it’s been a while since me last and may be another while before me next. However, while skimming, I ran across a great post by Joy Nash and HAD to get this in.

One of the major tenets of the Fat Acceptance Movement is CI≠CO. Or Calories In DOES NOT EQUAL Calories Out. Sometimes it almost seems an impossible task to convince some people of what, really, should be quite obvious.

There are several ways to determine the Calorie content of any given substance but the most popular involves incinerating whatever substance you have in an oxygen atmosphere and measuring the amount of heat generated. Many people are familiar with this from high school chemistry or biology experiments. Where the substances measured are usually ignited with a Bunsen Burner and heat measurements are taken with a thermometer. Now, here’s the concept that most people involved with F/A find so frustratingly obvious when confronted with adherents who proclaim, quite certainly, that losing weight is simply a matter of decreasing calories consumed and increasing calories burned-

THE HUMAN BODY IS NOT A BUNSEN BURNER.

It does not have any of the characteristics of, does not act like, nor does it have any resemblance to one. So calories in / calories out? Doesn't work. Myth; BUSTED. Oh, and any two human bodies you'd like to compare? Don't often react the same way to duplicated input. Most times won't even generate the same output with equal stimulus, and generally ARE NOT THE SAME, EITHER.

As Joy, so helpfully, pointed out; Please take note of the female Marathon Runner Deena Kastor and her daily calorie consumption.

Now lets look at the female weight lifter Cheryl Haworth [I don’t usually do the celebrity drool thing but; Hotness? YES! Thank you].

Hmm It’s seems they both consume about the same amount of calories a day with Cheryl sometimes consuming 1000 calories LESS. Yet Cheryl out weighs Deena by close to 200 pounds. And, somehow, I doubt that the usual retorts of lazy couch sitting or lying about how much they eat are going to fly here. One does not become an Olympic athlete by sitting on a couch. I’m also pretty sure that the only thing lying about what one eats while training is going to accomplish is getting ones Coach straight into your grill and all over your back.

So what IS going on here? Some people would have you believe it’s a mystery or some type of extenuating circumstance. Right. Have you heard that, while in a falling elevator, if you jump into the air just before it hits the ground, you can survive the crash? Ya have? Well, now, I’ve got one heck of a deal on a Bridge for you! You like Brooklyn, don’t ya? . . .

It's sometimes said that 'Money makes the world go round'. Well, at the very least, money will make PEOPLE around the world, GO. And, evidently there aren't too many extremes they won't go TOO to get some.

Is it really so hard to believe that ‘supply and demand’ can’t or isn’t being applied to something that people around the world want desperately to lose? For those few out there who STILL might not believe that there is a direct MONITARY motivation for interest in the ‘obesity crisis’-

Credit Suisse identifies 15 companies that are best equipped to benefit from the trend towards healthier living: Allergan, Merck, Healthways, and Novo Nordisk in the healthcare sector; and Dick’s Sporting Goods, Life Time Fitness, Lululemon Athletica, Nike, Under Armour, CVS, Danone, General Mills, Kellogg, Safeway, and Kuala Lumpur Kepong in the consumer sector.

Credit Suisse makes the case for the 15 mostly US-listed companies:

NYSE-listed Allergan: The US market for gastric bands was about $220mm in 2007and is forecast to grow to about $850mm by 2012. Allergan has some key advantages from being ahead in the market to expanding its label in adolescent obesity and lower BMI patients, as well as the recent positive published study on lowering Type II diabetes.

Of course, there are others who would argue that this intense interest might stem from concerns about ‘World Health’. International Business? Concerned with OUR health?

Perhaps an example would be helpful. Consider, say: the Pharmaceutical Industry. In which, it might be thought of as counter intuitive in a business sense to provide a ‘cure’ for, really, ANYTHING. ‘Cures’ provide excellent, initial, income to the Pharmaceutical Co’s who are the first to discover them. Hence the emphasis on expensive and lengthy drug research programs. But the initial income from these ‘cures’ often lessons over time and begins to fade as more. . . Customers. . . are ACTUALLY cured. ‘Treatments’, on the other hand, can provide a steadily increasing income until a cure is found. Unless, that is, a ‘cure’ CAN’T be found. Or, as some might suggest, you don’t actually bother looking for one. Then profits have the potential to extend out. . . Well, forever. And, as I’ve mentioned before, the ‘Obesity Crises’ is a treatment rich environment.

Apparently this is getting noticed.

"It’s not SUPPOSED to be this hard."

I once worked with someone who used this phrase a lot, and justifiably so. The job sucked. It sucked talent, effort, will, joy and life out of most of the people who worked at it. So I could really empathies with my co-worker. My, personal, favorite is tagged as the subtitle of this very blog. Maybe someday I’ll explain the philosophy behind it. But for now the question is: Why IS it so hard? Anything. Everything. Simple things. Is it just me getting older? Is it the increasing complexity of our society? It just seems that, with the increase of things that are supposed to save us time, we are now finding it harder to make time for anything? And ‘Multitasked’ is the valued talent of the day.

Reminds me of another, older, name for a similar talent; ‘Jack of All Trades’. Unfortunately the new appellation has done away with the subtitle usually associated with the old one; ‘Master of None’. Our Multitasked society has become obsessed with an individuals ability to do five or six things at once. Quite a talent in any field. But shouldn’t we also be a little bit concerned about how WELL those things are being done? We used to be. Craftsmanship was once a valued commodity. It certainly isn’t now. Worse yet, it seems that for many in the business of doing business, 'quality' isn't even a good practice. It implies a philosophy of durability and longevity, neither of which sells units. If I build a widget valve that lasts a life time then every person I sell one too will never come back to buy another. However, Engineered Obsolescence (making a product with proprietary parts or purposely limiting it's applications) sells units. Designed Product Life (Cheap materials, critical parts designed to break or ware out) sells units. Self Check Out. . . Doesn’t sell units but that’s one less employee we need to pay. But I digress (do that a lot lately).

Even, everyday interaction seems to be getting harder and harder. Especially when you throw in the variable of location. One day, quite some time ago while in a rush, I walked into a deli expecting to get something quick to gnaw between appointments as that I hadn’t eaten all day and didn’t expect to have time to sit-down (Yes, fat people do sometimes STOP eating. This one does it quite often and yet remains fat. Strange, is it not?). Now, in NY where I’m from, this is a fairly common. Deli’s are everywhere and they serve, quite nicely, the basic purpose of getting something into an empty stomach quickly and efficiently. In fact, NY Deli’s were fast food before the concept of food being fast was ever born. However in MD, where I’m at now, it seems they have no comprehension of how any of this might work. It hadn't really dawned on me until I found myself ravenously hungry and needing to be someplace else, like, right NOW. I walked into a deli here to order a buttered roll and regular coffee, then proceeded to make a call to let my next appointment know I was going to be a few minutes late. NY: The person behind the counter pulls a Kaiser roll out of the pile behind the counter, cuts it in two, slathers on some butter, then pours a medium cop of coffee, cream, two sugars, rings me, changes me, bags me, and I never have to say another word to him beyond ‘Thanks’ as I’m headed out the door. 3 Minutes. TOPS. MD: I look up to notice the counter person looking at me kind of funny so I tell my call to hold on, ‘You just want the roll buttered?’, this person asks once they’ve got my attention. ‘Yeah, and the coffee.’ Back to my call. I look up again to find this person holding a hero roll and looking at me. Again. ‘What kind of roll you want?’ I ask him if he’s got Kaiser, he tells me ‘sure’, I tell him to butter the Kaiser and I’ll take that. Back to my call. THIS time I’m watching him, so when he turns around again with that questioning look on his face, I’m ready. ‘You want that toasted?’. . . . . Maybe I wasn’t quite as ready as I thought. At least not for THAT question. ‘Did I SAY I wanted it toasted?’ This gives him pause, ‘No. . . . . . . . . . . So, no toast, right?’ Ladies and Gentlemen this plane is NOT going to land on any known runway. Time to bail. ‘Look, just forget it, thanks anyway’ and out the door I go. 15 minutes and, perhaps, counting (He may STILL be waiting for my answer).

Why do I bring this up? Well, maybe because I’ve had this kind of thing happen to me several times before and several times since. Maybe because, pretty much, the SAME THING, happened again just last week. Only this time it was, apparently, my fault because I dared to ask for a buttered bagel after 11:30 when breakfast was over and lunch had begun. Same results for me; No bagel. Same results for this particular deli owner: No business from me. Hey, If you don’t WANT my money, I’m perfectly willing to NOT give it to you. Is it possible that some people, while trying to run their small businesses, might NOT be familiar with this concept? Apparently so. Apparently quite a few more than one might think.

A Question I'm sure Mr. Carlin would have appreciated.

Thanks for pointing out what was usually right in front of our noses but we often refused to see. Then making us laugh at ourselves for doing it.

Well, seems I’m fashioning myself into quite a reactionary poster here. Was reading a post in Hyde and Seek that caught my attention for fairly obvious reasons. But then the subject, kind of, drifted into one of my many obsessions; Movies & Cinema . So, of course I had to comment. But found myself slipping back and forth between the two subjects while my comment was, simultaneously, becoming something of a dissertation. Solution; Comment there and post here.

Ahh the Fat Folk in Hollywierd / Media thing. This time it got me thinking back to see if I could remember ANY hard core non-comedy, fat romantic leads. Male OR female. I could only come up with ONE. Marty won four Oscars in 1956, one for Best Pic and another for Best Lead (Ernest Borgnine). But basically you have to allow for seriocomedy before any other movies shake lose and most of those are either foreign or independent. Even then it's rare. I found myself having to pick an actress or actor and then think back along their careers to see If I could remember anything serious.

A lot of Gerard Depardues work, one or two things with Phillip Seymour Hoffman, and really, now that I'm thinking about it I can't remember ANYTHING seriocomic that featured a female lead. Bridget Jones Diary was a romantic comedy as was Last Holiday with both Queen Latifah and Gerard Depardue. But, even then, in Bridget Jones Zellweger was only fat in Hollyweirds imagination and Depardue played the wizened mentor in Holiday (As romantic interest between two fat people in a movie is strictly verboten). The Supporting Actor / romantic interest was LL Cool J.

About the only movie I can remember where the Actor / Actress weight was more of a side issue (as in; 'What could women possibly SEE in that guy?'') was The Tao of Steve with Donal Logue. A virtually unknown little pic with a C-list star (Logue is fat after all) who's character was portrayed as an all-around loser who just happened to be fat and possessed a rare gift for Game.

But no, Hollywood's portrayal of people in general and fat people in particular isn't skewed. Not at all.

Like so many others you received too little of the credit you were due. But the greatness of your talent is such that it cannot be denied. We're gonna miss you Mr. Diddley

Memorial Day is finally over in the States. This, of course, means lots of left-over BBQ laying around (bad for Fatties) and Gas prices can now cease their indecisive ‘Do we let them drive or do we make them pay through the nose and walk?’ fluctuations (Good for Fatties). Now the respective oil Companies can go back to their, regularly scheduled, steady price increases. And it seems that old ‘Diet vs. Anti-diet’ chestnut has circled around for another tour over at Big Fat Blog and a few other places.

Sometimes it seems that we have an undue amount of unnecessary contention for a community that’s trying to make itself heard. It seems there’s a lot of BLANK v.s. BLANK going on that detracts form the positive messages that F/A is trying to forward. So much that One can’t help but wonder; Why? A few weeks ago, intersectionality was a topic of much discussion within the Fatosphere. There was a lot of excellent debate on several aspects of Fat Acceptance and the similarities it may or may not share with other past and present social movements. Few, if any, answers where generated but awareness was raised and, with it, the hopes that solutions might be forthcoming. However, there is one discussion / contention within the community that separates Fat Acceptance from most other movements and sometimes seems exhausting in it’s apparent refusal to die. You KNOW where this one is going: Diet Talk.

Now I’ve noticed that most other movements have developed some type of apologist culture within their ranks at one time or another but not, quite, in the same way or with the same results as they have in F/A . Diet Apologists appear to be unique and uniquely persistent.

Within F/A we are constantly being subjected to discussion concerning who lost what amount of weight or how, and we are EXPECTED to laud or applaud these ‘accomplishments’. To marvel at those who have ‘succeeded’ and be abashed at not having undertaken weight loss programs of our own. Why else would the subject of how much weight X person has lost even come up in forums dedicated to Fat Acceptance? And if these strictures aren’t meet we’re often admonished for not being sympathetic to those who might need to lose weight for medical or pain control reasons. WE are not sympathetic to THEM. But how sympathetic to the needs of the Fat Acceptance community are they being when they come into a diet free zone and start talking about how much weight they’ve lost? ‘Oh, but I HAVE to lose weight for medical reasons’ Does that really make it ok to discuss HERE? And does the fact that a person has lost X amount of pounds mean that they can no longer be a part of F/A? A person can be a part of this movement, especially on the internet, without ever revealing how much they weigh. Which begs the question: why is it that this issue pops up so consistently? Why is there always SOMEONE who’s ready to announce just how much they’ve lost? Perhaps because no other community has ever been so persistently encouraged- practically EXPECTED, to hate and subsequently change THEMSELVES. When the message is that it’s impossible to be fat AND happy, EVERYONE fat must ALWAYS be trying to lose weight or you might be considered defective, weird, misguided, lazy, or weak willed. It MUST be true. Obviously because of all the ways there are available to lose weight and how easy it is to do. I mean, there are so many methods that one of them MUST work. Especially the one that worked for BLANK (Fill in blank or, if applicable, replace with the word ‘Me’).

Is it really so hard to see why so many in Fat Acceptance might find ‘Diet Talk’ so objectionable? Why are those that do required to ignore the unspoken assertions that get automatically injected into ANY declaration of weight loss- “I did it. Why don’t / can’t you?’ Now compound that with the general feeling that any complaint against or attempt to screen such talk is viewed as rooted in jealousy or just sour grapes, and anyone not willing to ‘go along’ gets branded as morally defective.

Maybe we’ve been CONDITIONED to respond positively to anyone loosing or attempting to lose weight no matter what their reasons. Conditioned to such an extent that it boarders on mental programming. And the fact that there are SO MANY other places one can go too where diet discussion, boostering and/or advise is welcomed or espoused? That gets soundly ignored. Yet, still, WE are being mean for not wanting to talk about it.

How much sense does THAT make?

So SJ and I headed out West for Mom's Day and I got to do the flying sardine can thing again. SJ's job entails a lot of travel at times, jumping from this state to that for meetings and such. Although in the current economic climate her business, like a lot of others, has cut back on travel in favor of teleconferencing. It has been quite a while for me though. Probably about three years since I last had to pack my rather large frame into one of those pre-shrunk, airline passenger, packages. Oh, the joy!

Fortunately SJ was smart enough to book us in seats on the aisles across from each other. Despite both of us being, unquestionably, fat folk it seems that we're both the kind that can pass under certain circumstances. She Being tall. lanky, AND fluffy, me being average height but long torsoed. People usually put me at somewhere in the 300Lbs mark. Even though I've been over 400 and usually come in at 350. As for BMI? Most of us are already aware of how inaccurate it is as a descriptor of weight, now it seems people are finally becoming aware of how worthless it is as an indicator of health.. So as a result of most people being as incapable of guess our BMI's as they are guessing our actual health (This should seem obvious but common sense has always been a rare commodity and if you MUST know, we are both very healthy fat folks, thank you very much.) we managed to breeze through check-in without getting any 'use a little more than one seat - pay for two' grief from the ticket agent. Getting through security is more of an equal opportunity torment for those of the 'right' skin color, accent, and nationality so no undue surprises there. On to waiting a bit for them to call for boarding and then the decent into the Winged Sardine Container.

First up was an Airbus A319. Roomy? Not at all. The Wife, business nomad that she is, had the foresight to book first row seats on either side of the aisle. Score! Not only would the aisle space provide more shoulder room for my wife's top heavy Gorilla (That would be me) but we would both be able to stretch our legs out. The Cherry on top of this bonus came not long after the Attendant closed the door and SJ, along with the Attendants assistance, sprang into action. Citing 'weight constraints' our rather clever Attendant was able to prevail upon one of the passengers in my wife's row to move back too an empty seat on another row. All in the interest of 'balancing weight' which, I suppose, might even be true. I weigh more than your average passenger and I'm not an airplane engineer so who knows. The end result? My wife and I sitting in one section, her with the window, me on the aisle, and an empty seat between us. Plenty of room. Plus the woman I'd been shoehorned into a seat beside before the door closed ended up sitting next to someone smaller and having a bit more room for herself. A situation I'm sure she was much happier with judging by her decreased squirming and wriggling but then I could have cared less. I suppose I was moderately relived that I wouldn't have to demonstrate to her how uncomfortable she COULD be if I decided to make MYSELF considerably more comfortable but then, as I think I mentioned somewhere else; A) I'm a NY Boy, born and raised. This generally means I have no time to be concerned with a perfect strangers problems [Some see this as obnoxious but most times it really isn't meant to be]. B) I'm comfortable with my size. Screw anybody who either thinks that's weird or finds it inconvenient [THIS would be obnoxious]. The important thing is that I learned something new about the the world of travel, and that is; things are rarely non-negotiable. Of course SJ and I do present a rather impressive negotiation team. She provides the Negotiation, I provide the Intimidation. We find most folks are inclined to be reasonable.

Things went along pretty swimmingly after that. We did have to transfer in the midwest and ended up in an absolutely mosquito-like AirCanada tuboprop, but that hop, at about ninety minutes long, was mercifully short. Welcome to Montana.

After a good visit with the family, friends, and neighbors our return trip turned out to be uneventful and equally as uncomfortable. This time it took two negotiation sessions, one unsuccessful, but we still managed to acquire enough space to prevent serious bone bruising or muscle cramps. It was still akin to being claustrophobically inclined and having the misfortune to end up being shipped home in a crate. Unfortunately the reality is that the current state of air travel is about getting as many passengers (Read: Livestock) into each plane (Read: Cattle Car) as possible. The, very, LAST thing they are concerned about is your comfort. Unless of course your paying for business class accommodations. Than, as on the Titanic, it's all about Love.

In the ‘Kill Bill’ movies Quentin Tarantino gives us a female protagonist. An uber lethal, anti-hero, in a fantasy world apparently full of conscienceless assassins, who kills for money and is the best at what she does. Until she discovers she’s pregnant. Instantaneously , the advent of motherhood turns her entire world upside down and her unborn baby becomes the, literal, center of her universe. Nothing else matters, nothing is more important than the safety and well being of her child. As commercially exploitive and violently twisted as this image is, I think it portrays one of the most powerful emotional aspects of motherhood fairly well.

Fortunately, the fantasy of this dystopian reality is just that; a fantasy. We don’t live in a world where rule of law doesn’t exist , where samurai sword carrying killers fly business class, and most mothers need not worry about paid assassins showing up on their doorstep. At least, not yet.

The dangers mothers face in this world are much more mundane and insidious. Drugs, STD’s, peer pressure and undue influence. Every day there is some new ‘danger’ presented by a media so based on sensationalist panic that it’s nearly impossible to differentiate real dangers from isolated incidents. And the saturation coverage of those isolated incidents can sometimes bring those dangers into the realm of self fulfilling prophesy. An incident in Heath High School, KY breeds
Thurston High School, OR in turn begetting Columbine, Colo. which spawns Virginia Tech and on and on.

But Motherhood isn’t as dark and depressing as all this. In fact it can be one of life’s brightest shining lights . Who but a Mother could get up in the face of tragedies such as these and even consider going on? Who but a Mother could find greater joy in the accomplishments of their children then in their own? Who but a Mother would give everything they own and everything they are to ensure the safety of their children? A Father might lead , a Father might teach, a Father might even die for the sake of his children. All noble and worthy things not insignificant in the sacrifices they represent. But it’s a rare father who can accept the little deaths, those small disappointments, the repeated mistakes, the refusal of ‘reason’, or head strong denial, and accept them without flinching. Love may remain unvarnished within the heart of a disaffected Father but only a Mother can accept without question. Only a Mother can forgive without reservation and, if for nothing else, this makes my mother, your mother, any mother in the world, more important than presidents, kings, premiers, or chieftains. And about a million times more valuable.

Happy Belated Mothers Day to all the Mothers out there. Especially those who have had to forgive more than most.

I do, so love a nicely crafted post. And RioIriri resent post is an exceptionally good one.

Language is a funny thing and we often do things with it that we aren’t even aware of. Sometimes until the consequences of our words, the attitudes they spawn, and the behaviors they drive become pointedly clear.

Look at the propaganda produced during WWII. You’ll find tons of blatantly racist posters and editorials generated from American, Japanese and German war machines. It wasn’t until well after the Vietnam War that we began to realize, one of the main purposes of this kind of propaganda is to dehumanize the enemy, thereby, make it easier to eliminate or kill him.

This isn’t new and it’s too deeply ingrained in human ‘Us vs. Them’ mentality for it not to be useful by some too this day. After all it’s much easier to justify killing another human being if that being is from a subhuman tribe, ethnicity, or because they don’t share your beliefs.

Of course, these are extreme examples of what language can do. But is dehumanizing a fellow human being any less wrong when we’re not talking about actually killing them? Doesn’t it invite, even, the possibility of doing just that? In a ‘success by any means necessary’ society shouldn’t we be worried that it might? And, even if it DOESN’T, what other consequences would this kind of attitude bring? Will the frustration of not having an obsessive, total, control over our bodies and it’s processes (if such a thing is, at all, possible) combined with the increasing hysteria over eliminating ‘obesity’
eventually cause us to completely loose the difference between adipose tissue and the HUMAN BEINGS who may carry more of it than others?

'Eliminating the Obese for their own good.' Sounds kind of silly doesn’t it?
Tell you what, do me this: put down your sticks & stones and answer just two little questions for me since we're on the subject of things silly-

In the context of RioIriri’s post, why is all of this even NECESSARY? And don’t we have, like, MUCH more important things to worry about?

You know. I get all steamed and worked up over people like Mr. Pease from my last (VERY resent) post, fire off both barrels in full rant mode, then turn around and run smack into this- Love letter to a fat man.

Suddenly people like Mr. Pease, really just don’t matter anymore. How could they in the face of THAT?

Beautiful.
Thank you Steph

Earlier this month a college student, apparently a Psych / Soc major, read an article on MSNBC regarding Disney’s announcement that it was refurbishing the ‘It’s a Small World’ ride at one of it’s parks. This Student appears to have been so outraged by the upgrades Disney outlined in this article and it’s obvious relevance as just one more indication of America’s ‘Obesity problem’ that he was impelled to public oratory. Big mistake on HIS part.

The article was picked up by Paul over at Big Fat Blog and, after the ensuing firestorm of commentary, the author; one Mr. Kevin Pease, decided he needed to explain himself to the good members of BFB by sending in a response.
Mistake # 2.

You see, young, Mr Pease was apparently alarmed by the reaction he's been getting from 'Those touchy Fat People'. Many of whom would appear to be better educated and / or FAR smarter than he is which, it seems, is some cause for concern. So, first he tries to deflect-

There was a reason that article was put in opinion, and if you do not agree with my views I encourage you to write a response for the paper.

Presumably to protect the University and to forestall any MORE attempts to engage him directly. Bad move son. Response to the paper is PUBLIC. You may find people on campus talking about you for some time yet.

He then attempts to soften us up with a plea to our parental instincts and a little sophomoric humor.

The fact is that I am just a kid who wrote a quick article for a student run paper in order to make twenty dollars so I could go to a bar that weekend.

'Friad not Kevy. You are a college student over the age of majority. Time to start thinking responsibly. As for 'Hur-hur. He said "Beer Money"? We are not amused.
We then get a testament of self-styled veracity backed by dubious source materials.

I also want to stress that every fact I mentioned in my article is entirely true and backed by scientific study. These are not magical ideas I pulled out of my head but figures and statements from textbooks.

'Entirely true' Mr. Pease? No room for misinterpretation, error, or even falsification? You sound exceedingly sure of yourself and that strikes ME as fairly bad science. But then psychology isn't science, right? Oh, wait . . . ‘Psych / Soc’?. . . You probably won’t have to deal with all that knotty clinical stuph. No worries.

Being overweight is as much a problem to one's physical health as a number of other chronic health problems, but eating right and exercising . . .

. . . etc-etc-etc. It's Fat Hate Bingo time again folks! Grab a marker and take an armed chair (No armless for the Fatties!). Preaching to an empty room, son. We've heard it all before.

As far as my intellectual capabilities and academic future are concerned...a psychologist is not your friend. They are not there to hold your hand while you do whatever you want. In order to cure phobias many of them expose their patients directly to that fear. The process is extremely uncomfortable for the patient but eventually helps them to grow as a person.

Guantanamo Bay much? No. Really. Immersion therapy is ONE modality son. It isn’t perfect, doesn’t always WORK, and isn’t often USEFUL. Although it does have a pretty proven track record in terms of interrogation. Interrogators aren’t usually thought of as friendly either.

Finally, I would like to take a moment to summarize my article since many pieces of it were taken out of context. Overweight and obese people can be allowed to do whatever they choose. However, at some point a line of accommodation should be drawn. The world should, but realistically cannot, be molded to fit people of all shapes and sizes.

‘The world shouldn’t have to accommodate fat people because unlike others they are fully and completely responsible for their condition.’ Isn’t that how that particular riff usually goes (Like I said, we’ve heard it all before)? We MUST be feeling a bit uncomfortable. Perhaps even a tad put-upon? After all, everybody else is getting theirs and that, of course, means there’s less for you. Damned if those, damn, Fatties get some of YOURS!

Woops! Here comes another news flash Boy; Most of us aren’t asking for anything unreasonable. The right to adequate MEDICAL CARE. Equal opportunity EMPLOYMENT and WAGES. Freedom from HARASSMENT. The right to LIVE AS WE CHOOSE to. RESPECT. And the right to be treated as HUMAN BEINGS. Sound familiar? Ever read the Constitution? Run out and get a copy, quick, before the current administration renders it unrecognizable. Oh, and before you dismiss these desires as ridiculous, or fantastically out of proportion to reality, you might wanna get out into the Size Acceptance Fatosphere and read about how much they AREN’T. You might like actually learning something for a change.

There is no shame in being proud of who you are, but there should be pride in acknowledging other people's points of view and finding intelligent responses to them based on reliable information. Paul, please excuse the spelling errors I am a terrible writer. Thank you for your time.

You want 'Intelligent responses based on reliable information' after relying in TEXTBOOKS as your sources?
Your joking right? That’s a joke. . . No? Ok, you want reliable information? I'm going to make this easy for you. Place curser on linkys below, CLICK, and READ...

Here.
Or here.
Better go ahead and just bookmark This one.

As for ‘Acknowledging other peoples points of view’? Sure. Do it all day, every day. How’s about YOU acknowledge this point of view and then try thinking about what it might mean for aspired vocation. Granted you won't have to worry about any oath, Hippocratic or otherwise, unless you decide to get an MD. But a mind is still a terrible thing to ruin. Especially if you don't care what damage your doing while rummaging around in one.

BTW; Your response? F-
Next time do your homework.

Stirring Things Up, Regionally Speaking

Read this NYT article and couldn't figure out what was bothering me about it. I'm not heavily into theater and wasn't really aware of the controversy surrounding the show so it actually took me a second to realize, exactly what in the article had me re-reading it. TWICE. Or, rather, what WASN'T in the article.

No mention, NOT ONE, of the actors size or weight.

No jokes, no innuendo's, no clever bon mots, or double entendre. NOTHING. THEN it also struck me what the SHOW was not. Not a comedy. Not a love story with the usual, fat guy, comedic relief. This is a serious show. A ONE MAN show with a serious subject and, apparently, no threats to replace the lead with a Name (Read: Somebody NOT Fat) to increase audience draw. Ok, it's Off-Off-Off Broadway, but apparently it's got a lot of peoples attention. And the performer seems to be calling ALL of Broadway out about it's financial history / practices. Don't know much about theater, but I know THAT takes Stones.

I may have to see if I can get up NY way soon enough to check this out.

Beautiful is NOT the word. Talking about yesterday here Folks. The Sun was blazing down from a cloud dotted sky keeping it a perfectly loverly ambient of around 75 degrees for most of the day. SJ’s back home from a long (2 week) trip out west where she’d been running herself ragged dealing with a more serious family emergency and Life Back Home in general. Things have settled down a bit out there but she’s got a bag packed in case she needs to head back on short notice (I’ve got one packed too. It’s that kind of emergency). At least her weather timing is right on.

It was snowing when she got in out there and it was pretty dreary here for most of time. Rain, chilly, overcast. Then, Thurs. The sun pokes through, temps jump to the high 60’s, she’s on a plane home and Sat.? BLAM!!

We spent the whole day running around getting this little thing done and that. Planning out the Home, lawn. and garden details. Need a new vacuum, gotta get a wheel barrow, get the grill out of the shed and do the pre-heat check-out. “Did you seed tulips next too the “Oriental Bush” (Oriental 'cause it's dead but still too interesting to pull up. Kinda of like a Chinese painting) out front? Then where did the tulips come from?”. Lunch out, dinner in, just one of those, nearly perfect Saturdays that you learn to appreciate because of their rarity. It’s good to have the Wife home. Especially since, today, it’s pouring rain.

Mo pie at Big Fat Deal has been doing some pretty awesome things of late.

First there was the posting of one letter from a 14 year old, desperately trying to come to terms with her own self image. The flood of good advice and positive messages that followed where. . . . Hell , they just ROCKED.

And, apparently, all the great comments and the correspondence that followed was enough to give a young athlete the courage to share her tribulations with bulimia. Again; NOTHING but love.

The most recent voice to raise above the blogging din, simply and very quietly, states; ‘I’m 21 years old and I’ve never even been kissed.’ and the comments just FLOW from there.

I couldn’t help but be struck by the outpouring of honesty for such a difficult subject. So many Commenters stepping up and joining in a chorus of ‘Me-too’s or, frankly conveying stories of long suffered loneliness and intimacy-put-on-hold. BFD being a Size Acceptance blog the reasons often given for self denial of a natural, healthy, aspect of life usually came down to the belief that ‘nobody wants me because I’m fat’ and the, ego flaying, lack of self-confidence that comes with that belief. The other thing that struck me about this post and it comments was the fact that there where voices missing here. Male voices.

Not surprising. Not even slightly. BFD is a feminist blog within the fatosphere. A, damn, good one I might add. And there aren’t a lot of male bloggers in the ‘Spere, as has been pointed out before. But this isn’t something that’s experienced ONLY by women. In fact I think it's more common amongst men than we choose to even acknowledge too ourselves much less TALK about. Most especially where fat men are concerned. So I said to myself, 'Self, nobody else is GOING to talk about this. Maybe YOU should break the stoic silence and wade in.' Well, I've never been One to try and talk myself out of an iffy proposition so. . .

I didn’t do the High School dating thing. Part of it may have been that I had no interest in the Popularity Club, didn’t hang with the Jocks despite being into sports, wasn’t much for the Stoner scene and couldn’t stand the Spooners (Born with a silver spoon in their ass & a Ferrari for the 16 birthday. Yes it was THAT kind of school). I ended up hanging with a bunch of weirdos, artists, geeks, and outsiders. Misfits All who, a couple of marriages, four states, and more than 20 years later, still manage to get together at least once or twice every year. College? Never really found a place to fit in there either. Not that I wasn’t looking. Nice Guy Syndrome can only explain PART of my lack of success. The fact that I was raised to believe that not only does ‘no' mean NO but that ‘she’s to drunk to care/remember' means NO as well. Even something like ‘Do you think you might like to F*ck me?’ should probably be answered with 'I don't think that would be a good idea. For EITHER of us'. Old Fashioned values + a sneaking suspicion that fat guys don’t get laid unless they get extraordinarily lucky slowly fed the idea that some people, (read: Mostly Fat people) where just destined to live their lives alone. You’ve seen ‘The 40 Year Old Virgin’? I was 28 and, all things considered, it wasn’t really all that.

2 hours of intense pleasure with frequent, equally pleasurable, dividends. Offset by the high cost in time, effort, emotional stress, and pure mental integrity. No rainbows appearing out of the sky and, defiantly, no dance numbers set to the music from ‘Hair’. By the time it was over I figured that if ‘doomed to live alone’ had been a mere idea before that mind bending disaster, I had just gotten my notice of confirmation. Fortunately I turned out to be, very much, wrong about that.

SJ and I have been married now, for 5 of the 7 and a half years we’ve been together and I love her more than breath or life. We have problems, we have arguments, we have doubts, we have fears, and we have Each Other. All the things that make life real and the one thing that makes life so much better. But to get to THIS road we both had to learn how to eliminate the roads that don't lead in this direction and navigate the ones do.

Life. Longing. Loneliness. Love.

They're not easy roads to travel or, in some cases, even find. But WHEN most people do finally get to this point, many find that it was well worth the trip.

Ok, I’m not gonna say I told you so, but. . . . . . .

Diversity outlawed in Japan

Ah, the Japanese! Love the society, love the food, love the art, the anime, and the manga. Love almost everything about that most quirky of off-beat cultures but sometimes. . . . . . .

The thing of it is; I KNEW this kind of ridiculousness was going to happen SOMEWHERE. Knew it like I know water flows down hill, amongst other things. Of course, now that the precedent has been set, I’m sure we’ll start seeing all KINDS of idiotic proposals sprouting up here and there that can point directly at this and pipe in with a hardy ‘But the Japanese are doing it’. Sure, most will get pushed aside or left to lay gasping for credibility before finally expiring in the light of day, but then, some of it WON’T (And next time I AM gonna say I told you so). Right about then, life for anybody ‘different’ should start to get REALLY scary. And I’m NOT just saying.


*UPDATE*

Told you so. What? You thought is was gonna take longer than that?

A recent issue of BusinessWeek gets into the ‘War on Fat’ that our loving friends in Big Pharma are currently fighting. Strangely enough, in an article that seems to be about how tough it’s been for pharmaceutical companies to find the ‘Magic Bullet’ cure for obesity [As if the natural size of ones body was something that needed curing], the article is surprisingly free of the usual ‘Obesity Epidemic’ trappings. No Headless Fatties, no sensational OMG! Ur gonna DIE! rhetoric, and it makes for a fairly dispassionate narrative of how and why Big Pharma hasn’t been real successful when it comes to making people thin [Hint Guys: Human Beings, our bodies AND our minds, are REAL complex thing-a-ma-ditties. Might even be more complex than we’ll be ABLE to understand for quite some time. Good Luck]. Of course, this being a BUSINESS mag one might expect a bit of detachment. It IS strictly business, not personal, as a certain Michael Corleone once said. However, that’s one of the problems you generally run into with any business you can tack the word ‘Big’ onto and have people know, exactly what your talking about. They Become TOO impersonal. Bad when your talking about your customers satisfaction, dangerous when you start talking about your customers health.

The interesting thing is that Big Pharma may, actually, be learning this lesson.

The FDA is now advising companies that drug trials in obesity, depression, epilepsy, and other brain-centered diseases should include suicide monitoring. Dr. Eric Coleman, deputy director of the FDA's metabolism unit, says, without a touch of irony: "Death is the outcome we're most concerned about avoiding."

Though, admittedly, for the wrong reasons and from a bad motivational aspect.

I also find it mind flogging that much of the research Big Phrama is currently conducting may do more to prove out what Size Activism has been trying to get people to hear by shouting from the rooftops for YEARS.

The latest obesity research is centering on an increasingly popular scientific premise: The human mind is all but hard-wired to hold the body at a certain weight. When people take a drug that helps them shed pounds, or even when they lose weight with exercise, an intricate tangle of brain signals kicks in to tell the body it's in danger. Metabolism slows to help the body preserve itself, and hunger intensifies. Most scientists have come to believe that obesity is not a disease of gluttony so much as it is an unfortunate roll of the genetic dice, made harder to fight in Western nations by the growing availability of cheap food. "Some people are preordained to have a higher body weight than others. It's normal' for them,"

Of course, it would help if the Media had any interest in cooling down the ‘Obesity Epidemic’ inferno it so loves to stoke but that’s another post.

As for Big Pharma becoming Friends of the Fat. Don’t bet the family heirlooms on it. Your great-great-great-etc. grand kids may need the wedding rings before that happens.

Seems there’s a thread running through the F-Sphere about those who practice HAES (Health At Every Size) vs. those who don’t. Apparently there’s a perception that the ‘do’s are, somehow, trumping the ‘do not’s. Especially within the fat community. I suppose the point of this contention is that, by promoting their HAES related activities/life style, there is a segment of the fat community that is either being segregated or are segregating themselves from the rest and are being elevated to a higher status due to their promotion/participation in HAES.

We’ve seen this before. Not so long ago it seemed a rift was forming within the Fat Community (before it had even became the Fatosphere) in regards to Diet vs. Ani-diet and people on both sides of the fence held similar contentions. Some refused to entertain ANY mention of diet or dieting within their forums. Reasoning that attempts to lose weight are in direct contradiction to what accepting Ones Self AS a fat person (hence, Fat Acceptance) is all about. Others felt that strict ‘no diet talk’ rules where exclusionary and didn’t allow for those who might be trying to lose weight for purely medical / mobility / pain related reasons.

In the Diet vs. Anti-diet debate, I happened to lean more strongly towards the former than the latter. My feeling is, if your on a diet for WHATEVER reason, fine. Good. If that’s what works for you then more power too you. However, to me, it seems completely unnecessary for someone to enter a space where people are struggling to gain acceptance of themselves AS THEY ARE and start talking about how YOU are trying to change yourself. What’s the point? Are you looking for acceptance of your weight loss attempts from people who’s main message is ‘It’s ok to be fat’? Uhhhh. . . Why bother? Are you trying to convince people who, essentially, believe that diets don’t work to go on YOUR diet? Kind of pointless, no? Are you trying to defend yourself from raving Fat Hatred by trying to convince the haters that, at least, YOU are trying not to be fat? Thanks for throwing the rest of us under the bus.

However, I CAN see the merit in the other side of the argument. Just as there are people who have no medical / physical issues with being fat, there are people who DO. There are people out there who may truly NEED to lose weight for as many reasons as there are blades of grass in Central Park. Should they be excluded from the conversation just because they are trying to lose weight? Absolutely not. We simply, as a group, would prefer that you NOT TALK ABOUT IT. A very poignant distinction. One that, I think, eventually put paid on the entire argument. Hence the acclimation ‘No diet *TALK*’. Anyone can join the conversation, provided they have something meaningful / non-derogatory to say, and that they’re not here to promote weight loss for it’s own sake. In fact I don’t think that anyone who is, at least, willing to listen to the message and see the point SHOULD be excluded. Always fat, newly fat, formerly fat, or never fat. Dieted once, dieting now, never did, never will, or never will again. Anorexic, bulimic, disordered, or bingeing. Practicing HAES or not-at-all-interested. I believe, at it’s base, the message is: PEOPLE DESERVE RESPECT NO MATTER WHAT SIZE THEY ARE. If I'm wrong, please feel free to let me know.

Ok, quick hit here and a tiny window into the unusual nature of a, passing strange, mind.

Was outside working on the lawn and garden with The Wife. It’s actually pretty nice here today. The rain has actually let up, the sun feels pretty good and the temp is up high enough to convince a body that spring might actually be on the way.

While raking away old sod and pulling roots, I happened to look up and see a large shape floating above the house. A hawk. Big one. Brown and white, lazily drifting on the nice breeze. And it reminded me of another hawk I’d seen a few days earlier. Definitely a different day. Cold, raining, wind gusting up to 50mph, I was taking out the garbage when I looked up and say the hawk.

Now maybe it was the same hawk I saw today. Could have been. Same coloring, about the same size. What struck me on that blustering, rainy, day was the fact that he was up AT ALL. As far as I could see, the myriad species of other birds I usually see fluttering and zipping around my house had all gone to ground. Presumably because of the high wind and rain. Except for this one hawk. When I first saw him I stood watching. Only about 100 feet up and sweeping, furiously, back and forth across the sky, he was obviously trying to gain some ground by tacking into the wind. And I remember thinking, ‘Now, THERE”S a bird with someplace he needs to be, like, RIGHT NOW.’ After he’d disappeared over the house I hurried out back to finish taking out the trash before getting thoroughly soaked and promptly forgot all about that singular hawk. Until today.

Today, I looked up and wondered, what does it take to do what I saw that hawk doing on that windy day? How many BILLION of calculations per second was he processing in his, walnut sized brain? Keeping both wings at JUST the right angle to provide lift while letting enough air slip passed to provide forward momentum in a HEADWIND. And constantly changing every lift surface in response to, probably, hundreds of sensory nerve signals coming from EACH FEATHER on those surfaces. There isn’t a computer on this planet that could duplicate that. I don’t even think a human being, with a brain several hundred times bigger, could manage to keep up. Just . . . Wow.

Anyway, these are the types of things that often sidetrack my, easily distracted, mind. Just thought I’d share.